Extinction

 

“He who does not at some time, with definite determination

 consent to the terribleness of life,

or even exalt in it,

 never takes possession 

of the inexpressible fullness 

of the power of our existence.”

                                     Ranier Maria Rilke from Selected Letters                                                                                                                                                                                                 

I am a dead man. Worse yet, I am still alive. I am on the extinction line. We, the shut-ins and house-bound, are the ones who are already more dead than alive, we are about to be gone, to exist no more. In my case, I am human. Proof positive that this extinction event is going to take humans down too — it is, in fact, already doing so.

Going out of existence, dying isn’t new, or unusual, but in today’s terms, being made extinct is. Waiting to die has usually been left to the old, now it can happen to anyone. Extinction is a global phenomenon, hurried along by the massive ignorance of our kind. So, in some way, there is a kind of justice that accompanies the ending that awaits us all. An ending that is already happening, especially for those who are most vulnerable.

I am one of them. The ones that are out of sight, voiceless, and powerless. Shut-ins and the house-bound. The first to go. Condemned early by the force-field of ignorance. Humanity’s refusal to recognize limitations. I am going to go early, like many of the species who rely on others for their survival. Our limitations insure it. And, the limitations of those who recognize no limitations.

It’s a terrible thing recognizing that your time is up. It is even more poignant when one recognizes, that one is fated to absorb the same hit that is going on in the natural world. I have always known our destinies are linked, but now I know the same insensitivities that doom one, also affect the other. Climate change also means social change. All of it is driven, in part, by human consciousness, or should I say, lack of consciousness. It could be either, or both. The effect is the same.

It’s not that I don’t want to die. I accept that part of my fate. It is that our inhumanity extends to each other, and particularly to our most vulnerable. Just as we should be trying to preserve our endangered species, we should be trying to preserve the lives of those who have lost the means to help themselves. Equal justice should apply uniformly.

What troubles my heart is that we seem intent upon ridding ourselves of those who know dependence isn’t just a bad thing, and that all Life depends. In some painful ways, we are disposing of our chances. Drowning together, is anxiety-provoking, but dismissing those who cannot help themselves — wherever they lay in the animal kingdom— is not my idea of how I want to go out. Integrity matters too! If that is the result that we have made inevitable, then I have a lot to grieve in the time left to me.

From this sad place, the world looks like a trampled miracle. The faces of the suffering are, oddly, more beautiful. The glory of who we are, is increasingly hollow, and in some strange way, more awesome. I accept the refusal that permeates much of human life, and yet I long for, and dream of, the few who live by broader laws. 

  

Dependence

I usually take a kind of perverse pride when I approach a taboo area in these missives. But, not this time. The stigma is just too great. There is an impenetrable field of darkness around this one, a kind of consensus agreement that devastates. It reflects the kind of stubborn injustice that rebounds especially harshly upon all of us. Oddly enough, I want to address a very beautiful part of our human nature, that is treated like a dirty and inarticulate street person. I’m talking about what makes us a social animal — that we occasionally need and depend on each other.

Dependence is a dirty word, an even more branding and socially stigmatizing event. If one is forced to hang out in it for very long (like the diseased and disabled), then all manner of slurs can come one’s way. Self-sufficiency is the coin of the realm, and anything less is highly looked down upon and avoided.  It is as if welfare queens and self-pity are going to swamp the land. Needing is un-American, and for sissies.

So, it is, that our greatest strength, our bond with each other, is de-graded and demeaned. The reality of dependence is so marginalized and scary, that even good souls, like most of us, are drastically unprepared for it when it surely comes. Even the old host this element of ageism. It is the tragedy of the commons we are still perpetrating.

Dependency is actually a good and very heart-warming quality. Sure, it’s reality is misconstrued, but it offers a real chance that one can feel truly loved as one is. There is nothing like a warm hand on the brow. Most of us are so busy maintaining our pretense of wholeness, that we totally miss the wholeness we make because we actually need each other.

In more confident times, I used to think of myself as the ambassador of need. But lately, I have been worn down, more psychically-disabled by the social environment that views neediness like cooties. There is a naïve child-like viciousness that rules the land. Needing, in any form, is an insult that threatens our way of life. Sadly, most of us, without really thinking about it, apologize for being human, and further participate in the unraveling of human community. Meanwhile, the environment, and those who live on the outskirts, suffer more, and sink more thoroughly into our calloused ignorance.

Depending is not a sin, although it is often treated like one. The reality of those who depend is not inherently parasitic. We who depend are not a burden — we are an opportunity to care. To that extent asking for help is giving a gift.  The real burden is the uncaring world of mistrust that prevails today.

Dependency is actually a doorway into the world of connection. It is an engraved invitation. Falling into need is kindness, it provides access to a kinder, more loving world. Most of us shrink from the opportunity, fearing the worst, and avoiding marginality.

We aren’t being taught to be compassionate for strictly or own soul’s sake, but because we thrive best, in a world where compassion is present.

Falling, becoming less than we once were, is a human trait. It is a fate we all share. Inevitably, more than gravity takes us down. That too, is a gift of Life. One we can be sure of. Life, to make more Life, to actually evolve the whole thing, depends on an inevitable descent. Depending is part of the way. Let’s get better at honoring this feature of our existence.

Let’s let our hearts be broken open for each other, and for ourselves, because in doing so, the world becomes a more caring place.