Patterns

“If you don't know the kind of person I am

and I don't know the kind of person you are

 

a pattern that others made may prevail in the world”

                                                                                  from A Ritual to be Read to Each Other by William Stafford 

 

Once in a while, one finds something so meaningful that it is inspiring. The quote above was part of a larger poem that has been meaningful to me for such a long-time. Each encounter with another is a microcosm, a little moment, that has monumental consequences. The world we humans know, teeters on an edge, composed of our regard for each other. The poet sagely reminds us that each of us matters, and that how we show up, determines so much.

 

Reality trembles unfixed and unkind when we don’t really meet each other. The tension inherent when beings like us come together is palpable, because so much is at stake. More important than us liking each other, is that we reveal ourselves, and the portion of the world that shines through our eyes.

 

We humans drift when no one reaches out to us. The world also gets darker, less humane, and more dangerous.  Touching is a multi-dimensional thing, and essential. It involves disclosure, vulnerability, and a deep regard for how mystery comes through us. When we begin to know each other, a sigh goes out into the cosmos, renewing faith in all gravity.

 

Some say it takes a while to truly get to know someone. That is true. In the paradoxical world we inhabit, it can take a long time, and it can happen in a micro-second. If one is willing, and open, something deeper than words is translated into the atmosphere between, and knowing becomes a form of breathing. Souls are so airy and lithe, they travel faster than light, and have a sticking power we cannot account for. The world forms around them.

 

Many of us have swallowed the kool-aid. Believing that we don’t matter, we forget Creation coming to pass, and settle for merely existing. The world longs for the airy sigh that starts it all again. It is in us, has been from the beginning, and finds its way into the lungs of Creation, when the unleashing moment comes. Sometimes it does take time, to peel off old betrayals, but happily Creation unfolds in both fast and slow ways. Break open what longs to fly in you. Listen to the other’s heartbeat. Let the games be elevated!

 

There is a reason we all breath. It isn’t just respiration. The Universe longs for news of itself. Cosmic navigation cannot happen without our parts. You are wrapped up in the news. Before, during, and after. The other, is a bridge, designed to help the news go further. Shine forth, and ignite. No pattern can withstand the gravity of true messages. 

 

We live in the midst of mystery. And, we play our parts, dimly knowing how crucial we are. Poems occasionally remind us, that we are weaving a great tapestry, and that we are the pattern-making component. It is our opportunity to participate in Creation. What we share with each other, the signals we send each other,  are  the weight of destiny unfolding through us.

 

 

 

 

 

Santa Claus Beliefs

(for, and from, Spyder)

 

“Let’s stop pretending we don’t know the deal here.”

                                                                                            From The Dakini Speaks by Jenifer Wellwood

 

The words of a friend have ballooned into a perception that keeps on throwing light on the quality of social reality. There is so much pretense, such a great tendency to believe in the unbelievable. My friend had the sense to call this tendency, “Santa Claus beliefs.” He was referring to the way we prepare our young for life by indulging their magical thinking, and how much we rely on the same kind of magical thinking as we get older. Life suffers the indignity of the fantasies we indulge, in our efforts to not grow up.

 

A pattern of prevarication prevails in our lives. We have been practicing the ‘big lie” all along, insisting the world conform to our fantasies so we don’t have to grow up.  This pattern, believing the unbelievable, and holding on to that believe, even though it isn’t true, is a survival skill that threatens our survival. It is a seemingly benign game we play with our young, and a way we cling to our youth rather than face the music of reality.

 

What is “the big lie?” From childhood, it is whatever belief we hold to put off becoming more mature. It isn’t as naïve and innocent as believing in a giving and magically happy, fat, jolly elf. It is the way we shrink ourselves, others, and the moment. It can look like racism, ageism, or some similar effort to change someone (or something) else, to avoid the uncertainty and overwhelm that always accompanies growth. Santa Clause beliefs are things we imagine to reassure ourselves — that we don’t have to change, and especially don’t have to handle any discomfort. 

 

I have a developmental view of the human journey. That means that I see we humans going through stages of growth (like our kids) that slowly add to our intricacy, until we become as fully complex as we humans can be. Each stage along the way makes us more human and more aware. Unless our development stops. From an early belief in Santa — to later beliefs — such as romantic projections, the search for safety, or the belief one’s well-being lies in the hands of others — postpone growth and deny reality.  Immaturity, especially of the fantasizing kind, is disempowering. Believing in chimera can be deadly.

 

Being savvy enough about the stage-development of humans, I can see that every stage has its own form of magical thinking, its own Santa Claus (SC) belief that prevents more growth. That awareness has led me to become aware that right now I, like everybody alive, is harboring a belief (maybe several) that prevents me from being all I can be. That thought is irritating, and more than a little undermining. I want to ignore it, but find myself wondering about how I might be deluding myself.

 

After a while, I came across a SC belief that I have been keeping. I disable myself, believing that each moment isn’t really holy. I am also keeping my perception of the world on the leash of my limited belief. It is quite likely, that I am refusing to perceive the actual holiness of the world because I don’t want to grow up and face what the world is really asking of a more mature me. I can deal with the pedestrian experiences of a day-to-day life — that isn’t too enchanted with holiness — but can I face living in a really holy way. I’m not that large yet.

 

Anyway, consider the SC beliefs you are harboring. As you do, realize you are playing with your own chain, your self-selected protection, the safety belt that keeps you small. SC beliefs are important tools that reflect our deep ambivalence — it isn’t really to be or not to be — but to grow or not to grow.