“Grief is gratitude for Life.”
Martine Prechtel
I first learned about the single Mayan word that meant grief and/or praise several years ago. I was smitten. It seemed to bring together two experiences of human expression that were both precious. They meant more to me when merged. I extoled this form of expression with the Elder Salon. I even wrote a Slow Lane about it. Now, because I have been grieving a lot lately, grief and praise have come back into my mind. It is deeply reassuring to me, and so inspiring, to recall that love’s intensity comes pouring out with my tears.
I need to remember, as the world careens so wildly, that my fear and anxiety, which feed my uncertainty, which finds expression through my heartache and sadness, have love at their core. I don’t like the inhumane violence I have been witnessing lately. It buffets my heart, and causes dark dreams. But it also reminds me of what is important. Life is precious, and I know it is coursing through everything. Even the impact of the gore, whether deadening, or heaven forbid freeing, raises life’s signature. I can feel evolution beating my heart, and directing my attention. I know, because I have experienced the oneness of grief and praise, that love, mine or otherwise, is directing the moment.
The experience of the oneness of grief and praise resides in the dark waves of seeming loss. One is carried away when the loss is great enough. Everything loses its meaning. Wailing, silent or loud, is all that can give the tragic its due. These moments, laden with hopelessness, are like storm clouds breaking into rain. They paint the world with the grim determination of ruthless nature. They also water the land, sow life, and break the heavy pattern that has prevailed. Loss breeds gain. Grief simultaneously carries praise. The heart breaks open and is enlarged. The pain that breaks it open is the love that enlarges it.
These seemingly dark moments carry a strange form of gravity. It is as if two worlds are drawn together by the import of what has happened. Each, infused with its own energy, grief (loss) and praise (gain) combine, and form a third world. A place where the Divine works it’s unknown magic — a world, full of a painful awareness and precious understanding.
I chafe at being so grown.
Peace lies at the balance point of grief and praise. It is an uneasy, hard won peace. But, peace never-the-less. There is no substitute for the experience of knowing Life has your back. It may come in a tangle of broken waves, darkened with uncertainty, but enlivening anyway, infused by a light so bright it cannot be seen.
Tragedy is just another way of getting at us. It takes us beyond ourselves in unexpected ways. And we only have a few poor means of expressing this miraculous feature of Life. Happily, the Mayans have come up with one, and our lives reinforce it from time to time. Grief and praise are related — they both are expressions of love —and of how deeply we are connected.
May you have enough!
