Santa Claus Beliefs

(for, and from, Spyder)

 

“Let’s stop pretending we don’t know the deal here.”

                                                                                            From The Dakini Speaks by Jenifer Wellwood

 

The words of a friend have ballooned into a perception that keeps on throwing light on the quality of social reality. There is so much pretense, such a great tendency to believe in the unbelievable. My friend had the sense to call this tendency, “Santa Claus beliefs.” He was referring to the way we prepare our young for life by indulging their magical thinking, and how much we rely on the same kind of magical thinking as we get older. Life suffers the indignity of the fantasies we indulge, in our efforts to not grow up.

 

A pattern of prevarication prevails in our lives. We have been practicing the ‘big lie” all along, insisting the world conform to our fantasies so we don’t have to grow up.  This pattern, believing the unbelievable, and holding on to that believe, even though it isn’t true, is a survival skill that threatens our survival. It is a seemingly benign game we play with our young, and a way we cling to our youth rather than face the music of reality.

 

What is “the big lie?” From childhood, it is whatever belief we hold to put off becoming more mature. It isn’t as naïve and innocent as believing in a giving and magically happy, fat, jolly elf. It is the way we shrink ourselves, others, and the moment. It can look like racism, ageism, or some similar effort to change someone (or something) else, to avoid the uncertainty and overwhelm that always accompanies growth. Santa Clause beliefs are things we imagine to reassure ourselves — that we don’t have to change, and especially don’t have to handle any discomfort. 

 

I have a developmental view of the human journey. That means that I see we humans going through stages of growth (like our kids) that slowly add to our intricacy, until we become as fully complex as we humans can be. Each stage along the way makes us more human and more aware. Unless our development stops. From an early belief in Santa — to later beliefs — such as romantic projections, the search for safety, or the belief one’s well-being lies in the hands of others — postpone growth and deny reality.  Immaturity, especially of the fantasizing kind, is disempowering. Believing in chimera can be deadly.

 

Being savvy enough about the stage-development of humans, I can see that every stage has its own form of magical thinking, its own Santa Claus (SC) belief that prevents more growth. That awareness has led me to become aware that right now I, like everybody alive, is harboring a belief (maybe several) that prevents me from being all I can be. That thought is irritating, and more than a little undermining. I want to ignore it, but find myself wondering about how I might be deluding myself.

 

After a while, I came across a SC belief that I have been keeping. I disable myself, believing that each moment isn’t really holy. I am also keeping my perception of the world on the leash of my limited belief. It is quite likely, that I am refusing to perceive the actual holiness of the world because I don’t want to grow up and face what the world is really asking of a more mature me. I can deal with the pedestrian experiences of a day-to-day life — that isn’t too enchanted with holiness — but can I face living in a really holy way. I’m not that large yet.

 

Anyway, consider the SC beliefs you are harboring. As you do, realize you are playing with your own chain, your self-selected protection, the safety belt that keeps you small. SC beliefs are important tools that reflect our deep ambivalence — it isn’t really to be or not to be — but to grow or not to grow.