Elder Play II

There is a readily reliable way for one to differentiate an elder from the merely old person. This is because something happens to elder awareness that is very distinct. An elder is more playful, creative and fun. They are more like a child than a merely old person, yet play more wisely than practically anyone you’ve ever met. Here’s why.

You have heard about how growing old generates a “second childhood.” Well, there is some truth to that perception. There is one big exception to this take though. Elders progress into a new form of innocence, instead of regressing, which is the present popular assumption. The frequently playful attitude that characterizes elder awareness is born from experience, not the loss of awareness. Elder playfulness is a hallmark of a truly mature person.

There is a form of innocent awareness that comes with later life. It isn’t the innocence of childhood, naïve to the basic lay of the land, social arrangement, existential meaning, or relationship context of existence. No, unlike childhood’s innocence, which is born of knowing nothing, elder innocence comes about, because elders have vast experience, and have freed themselves from the clutches of cultural (or other, outside) thinking. Elder innocence is grown into, it comes from the hard-won freedom of having lived through the assumptions of others, and gone beyond them. That is why, an observer of elder development (Dr. Allan Chinen), describes it as “emancipated innocence.” Elder innocence is experienced, and infused, with freedom.

This renewed innocence allows the elder to experience Life as it is. This offers the chance of being enchanted all over again, not in the way of experiencing everything naively, but in experiencing everything again for the first time.  Sleeping Beauty awakes — not as a fairytale —but as an actual experience of being brought to Life.

This new free innocence allows an interactive phenomenon, which is very poorly understood. Elders participate in a form of play that has been around since forever, but has remained poorly grasped. They really like hanging out together. This isn’t just old folks desperately hanging out — to maintain some kind of recognition, dignity and way of passing time. This is actually real fun, the paradoxical playful pursuit of a larger awareness.

In this case, elders are coming together and playfully melding their consciousness, growing a more fluid awareness, and integrating that awareness into a form of consciousness more suitable for the actual complexity of Life. This form of play mixes spontaneity, laughter, reminiscence, perspective, experience, fluidity, humility and wonder. It is also a form of play that fulfills the instincts of the old— it is full of the subtleties, nuances and capabilities — that come with maturity.

It is this quality of play, a special capability of the mature mind, that is the real reason why learning in elder community is so compelling. There is no other social phenomenon that so replicates this unique attribute of elder life. Elders come together to fully integrate the special awareness that is dawning in them. They need each other, not like those who are dependently incomplete, but like those who are so full, they need others to help digest the richness, complexity and wonder of Life. When elders find the way to play together, integration takes place.

And, it is a special form of integration. The future and the past are brought together. The paradoxical relationship between masculine and feminine, between sex and intimacy, between death and life, joy and pain, grief and praise, destruction and creation, all become more evident and palatable. It is the kind of integrative learning that restores humanity’s trust in existence. Life takes on the complex and wondrous fullness that makes being alive such an important opportunity. The Universe ages, and elders add wisdom to the unfolding.

Anyone can experience for them selves, the playfulness that accompanies elder awareness. It is infectious. If one wants to have this perspective present, or simply wants to experience life in the raw, then interacting with an old person, who has been around the block a few times, and sees the benefits of that journey, is the only way to proceed. Many might be proclaimed as elders (by themselves, or others), but genuine play and authentic presence cannot be faked. Relate with old people and the difference becomes obvious.

If you happen to be one of the rapidly ageing people, then I suggest you find some playmates, and try just hanging out with them. Play, which comes naturally, will ensue. So will laughter. And there isn’t anything quite as wonderfully infectious as a baby’s and an old person’s laugh.