Evolution

 I have a new writing project. Its intended to be a book-length manuscript called, The Evolving Elder. I’m excited about it. Writing about elders, and the challenges of growth that come with old age, is unusual. That alone has special gratification. The more unusual part, that I’m most excited about, is the ‘evolution’ part.

I don’t think many people consider the possibility that some kind of natural change might be taking place right now. I have found, as I have delved deeper into the lives of old people, that there seems to be a force that pushes growth, insight, remembrance, creativity and development.

The idea that there might be a natural agent at work, shaping human experience, especially near the end, is incredibly interesting. Is evolution interested in the way we humans integrate our lives? Is there some evolutionary wind aiding us? I think so. I plan on using this report to reflect upon that possibility.

I believe that a significant component of later life is about integration. I think the more organized we are, within our selves, the more we have to offer Life. I don’t mean organized in the sense of having a clear will, or an advanced directive. I mean organized around life’s purpose. Where meaning thrives.

I also have reason to believe (through observation) that there is an integrative force that operates during the later life of humans. This isn’t a surface force, it operates deeper down, within. To me, this force isn’t palpable on the outside. I believe this is one of the main reasons this part of our human nature is ignored.

Evolution has an interest in seeing that the Universe keeps expanding. And, expand it does, I would submit, right through us. I actually believe that we humans develop as we do, gaining a more nuanced consciousness over time, as a result of evolution running through our being. If that thought has some truth to it, then the thought that humankind is somehow separate from Nature is erroneous. Pardon me, I digress.

Life, it appears to me, is not an accident. At least it doesn’t seem to operate that way now. There is a widespread belief that all of what we are confronting is random. My experience tells me otherwise. It seems to me that each of us is provided the means to know something closer to the truth, through our own aging process. Aging has been given a really bad rap. I would like to see people come to the realization that old people’s happiness reflects more than a positive attitude, good healthcare, and longer life expectancy.

Something major is surfacing. Yes, it is happening because of a big change in the old. That, by itself, constitutes good news. But, the news contains more. Evolution is becoming more apparent. Nature herself is showing, in an utterly unexpected way. Humanity is being changed from within. The change is inexorably slow. It may not overtake the pace of self-destruction we have set, but it is manifesting. This change is revealing human nature includes options now, options that didn’t exist in our ancestor’s (this includes ancestor species) behavioral menu. The new old are just that, new. Evolution is, once again, changing the nature of the game.

Why is this possibility important? It is relatively easy to say that evolution is happening. But it is a lot harder to explain this moment. Evolution trumps assumptions that have contributed to us getting off track, spoiling our nest, and misjudging our own existence.

Human existence isn’t an on-going accident. Evolutionary change might return us to wondering about our presence as a part of what’s going on here. I hope so. Life actually matters, more than the bottom line. This kind of development (evolution) could mean the human experiment is relevant to some larger processes in the Universe. There may be, other, greater forces at work here.

Evolution has been going on for a long time. The assumption is, from the beginning. If it’s true that evolution was a beginning condition. Then it follows that the life of the moment, which elder’s are so good at, is relevant to the whole endeavor. I notice I really want to align my life to the thrust of Life, the greenest expression of evolution I know. I think others do too. So, for me, the idea that evolution might be becoming more obvious now, and is changing our species around, fills me with awe and life inspiration.

Emotional Reactivity

I have learned that the greatest threat I face is not the actions of others, but my own reactions. As far as I can see, this is true for many others too. It seems, that when I have a big emotional reaction to something, generally I’m feeling how much I am unprepared to deal with that situation, relationship, or feeling. There are complexities I’m just not, myself, complex enough to handle. Instead, I feel something reactive, which if I was paying attention to me, I would use to learn something about me, but usually, I assume the worst, this emotional response must mean that the other, usually the source of these complexities, must be deliberate, dangerous and wrong. They, or the situations, are toxic, should be avoided, and are bad. I have learned that as soon as I diss the other, I am dissing me.

I am a little amazed at myself. Even trying to take my reactivity on, is a very brave (or foolish) act. Here lies one of my greatest weaknesses, and the source of a great deal of my shame. I hope some of this is true for you, too. Otherwise, I’m just going to feel like a flawed idiot. Instead of the perfectly imperfect human, I hope I am.

I have been guilty most of my life, of assuming my feelings give me an unerring way through the world. I have learned, through the prevailing cultural distrust of feelings, to trust them. I made room for my emotions in all of my life equations. The trouble is that I gave them too exalted a position. I weighted them too heavily, treating my feelings like they always gave me an accurate readings on things. I have suffered so much from that little piece of innocent arrogance.

A lifetime of such mistakes has added up to, with death’s help, a little humility, and a great deal of humble pie, and gratitude, to a new more realistic perspective. Now, I can see my emotional reactions are honest, sincere and accurate. They just say a lot more about me, than reality, or the other. Now, that I’ve learned to read in them, I see my own responsibility and culpability, I have come to a more faithful knowledge of myself. My feelings are trustworthy again, it’s just that now I’ve learned that they paint an accurate picture of me, instead of the truth of anyone or anything else.

Emotional reactions, once I oriented myself appropriately, are useful. They are constantly bursting through my self-delusional thinking, and showing me what I need to know about me. They are exceptionally grounding. I may not like what they reveal, but I’ve learned to appreciate the guidance they offer. It is deeply re-assuring to know there is such a good guidance system built into my being.

But this little adventure into awareness isn’t really about how constructive emotional reactions are, but it is about how destructive they can be. They are like the hungry family dog. Not above manipulation, especially well-aimed intelligent manipulation, to get fed. Emotional reactions are definitely pointing, just not toward anything outside. But, if one isn’t careful, one could believe the honesty they convey, and be thrown off. Emotional reactions are kin to anxiety and fear, they can help in creating false realities. There is nothing worse than tilting at windmills that aren’t there. Except maybe, being mistaken for such a windmill.

I personally don’t like it when I, or anyone, lets emotional reactions run the show. It’s too much like living too close to a nuclear meltdown. My life is contaminated with the spill of really vile components. I’ve been really hard on my environment. God knows how many relationships I’ve spoiled, all, in the pursuit of something honorable.

It has taken me a long time to really grasp my feelings. The journey is strewn with my refuse. But, I have learned. Thank the Universe! I’ve grown old enough to die with something under my belt. I’ve learned enough about my own humanity that I can appreciate the difficulty others may be having with their own nature. The mess I am now, the lostness and awe I now regularly experience, is just an affirmation of what a long and strange journey this is. I am happy ageing has given me the opportunity to grok so deeply.

Elder Play II

There is a readily reliable way for one to differentiate an elder from the merely old person. This is because something happens to elder awareness that is very distinct. An elder is more playful, creative and fun. They are more like a child than a merely old person, yet play more wisely than practically anyone you’ve ever met. Here’s why.

You have heard about how growing old generates a “second childhood.” Well, there is some truth to that perception. There is one big exception to this take though. Elders progress into a new form of innocence, instead of regressing, which is the present popular assumption. The frequently playful attitude that characterizes elder awareness is born from experience, not the loss of awareness. Elder playfulness is a hallmark of a truly mature person.

There is a form of innocent awareness that comes with later life. It isn’t the innocence of childhood, naïve to the basic lay of the land, social arrangement, existential meaning, or relationship context of existence. No, unlike childhood’s innocence, which is born of knowing nothing, elder innocence comes about, because elders have vast experience, and have freed themselves from the clutches of cultural (or other, outside) thinking. Elder innocence is grown into, it comes from the hard-won freedom of having lived through the assumptions of others, and gone beyond them. That is why, an observer of elder development (Dr. Allan Chinen), describes it as “emancipated innocence.” Elder innocence is experienced, and infused, with freedom.

This renewed innocence allows the elder to experience Life as it is. This offers the chance of being enchanted all over again, not in the way of experiencing everything naively, but in experiencing everything again for the first time.  Sleeping Beauty awakes — not as a fairytale —but as an actual experience of being brought to Life.

This new free innocence allows an interactive phenomenon, which is very poorly understood. Elders participate in a form of play that has been around since forever, but has remained poorly grasped. They really like hanging out together. This isn’t just old folks desperately hanging out — to maintain some kind of recognition, dignity and way of passing time. This is actually real fun, the paradoxical playful pursuit of a larger awareness.

In this case, elders are coming together and playfully melding their consciousness, growing a more fluid awareness, and integrating that awareness into a form of consciousness more suitable for the actual complexity of Life. This form of play mixes spontaneity, laughter, reminiscence, perspective, experience, fluidity, humility and wonder. It is also a form of play that fulfills the instincts of the old— it is full of the subtleties, nuances and capabilities — that come with maturity.

It is this quality of play, a special capability of the mature mind, that is the real reason why learning in elder community is so compelling. There is no other social phenomenon that so replicates this unique attribute of elder life. Elders come together to fully integrate the special awareness that is dawning in them. They need each other, not like those who are dependently incomplete, but like those who are so full, they need others to help digest the richness, complexity and wonder of Life. When elders find the way to play together, integration takes place.

And, it is a special form of integration. The future and the past are brought together. The paradoxical relationship between masculine and feminine, between sex and intimacy, between death and life, joy and pain, grief and praise, destruction and creation, all become more evident and palatable. It is the kind of integrative learning that restores humanity’s trust in existence. Life takes on the complex and wondrous fullness that makes being alive such an important opportunity. The Universe ages, and elders add wisdom to the unfolding.

Anyone can experience for them selves, the playfulness that accompanies elder awareness. It is infectious. If one wants to have this perspective present, or simply wants to experience life in the raw, then interacting with an old person, who has been around the block a few times, and sees the benefits of that journey, is the only way to proceed. Many might be proclaimed as elders (by themselves, or others), but genuine play and authentic presence cannot be faked. Relate with old people and the difference becomes obvious.

If you happen to be one of the rapidly ageing people, then I suggest you find some playmates, and try just hanging out with them. Play, which comes naturally, will ensue. So will laughter. And there isn’t anything quite as wonderfully infectious as a baby’s and an old person’s laugh.

Elder Play

“Out beyond ideas

of wrong-doing and right-doing

there is a field,

I’ll meet you there.”

                                                                    Rumi

I was first introduced to this quote and to Rumi in the mid-eighties. At the time I thought the achievement of this kind of, what I thought of as, radical openness, awaited some time of enlightenment. Now, thirty years later, I realize, that it merely awaited the onset of maturity. The old people I meet today have more capacity for inviting out, and enjoying differences, than I ever believed possible. In fact, the inquiry that is behind this SL, is a look at how elder reality is far more playful and inclusive than ever.

Elder Play. The subject doesn’t sound serious. That’s because of the word “play.” The word elder suggests this inquiry might not be too serious either. After all, the subject seems to be related to the downhill side of life. It turns out, that the so-called “down hill” side of life, is where almost all of the ripening takes place.

Old people play bingo and gin rummy, for recreation don’t they? Well, yes and no. You see old people have been up to something, a form of play intrinsic to them, for a long time, without anyone noticing. My eyes, with their baby-boomer predilections, are aware, that old people hang out with each other in a very special way. They do something uniquely natural to them. They play together with their differences.

I almost hesitated to bring this up. Many old folks, perhaps most, don’t even know they are doing it. It is so natural, so inherently instinctual, that most old people do it without any deliberation, intent, or effort. There is an attitude of playfulness that slowly infects old age, and alters their relationship patterns. Now, obviously this tendency doesn’t appear in every old person’s life. There is a difference between the elderly and elders. I’m going to leave it to you to ferret them out, and become clear on your own, about what those differences are (I think this is an exercise in discernment that is sorely needed now). The old could benefit by real scrutiny, that is seeking real differences, instead of the kind of discrimination they usually get.

There is something really important about recognizing what is really going on when old people, especially elders, get together. The freedom that makes elders happy permeates their social engagements. More than just bitching about ailments and physical decline is occurring. They are engaging each other in very special, and largely new way. Together they are discovering their possibilities. In that way, its like childhood play, but these folks aren’t children, like one elder observer puts it, they have achieved “emancipated innocence,” they have a lifetime of experience to bring together, and that sheds a qualitatively different light on their interactions. Besides, by and large, they have escaped commercial pressure, and political correctness, so they are free to relate with each other unencumbered by the need to use each other, or make anybody different.

What occurs is often an undiscussed discussion, a tacit agreement, to inquire together, to listen to each other, to be intrigued by differences, and to enjoy all that is revealed. They seem to know enough, or have such a great appetite that it wants to include everyone, especially the silent. They are mutually unwrapping a gift called Mystery. And, in the process they are enjoying and discovering themselves and each other.

Elders are discovering, as they do this, that being human is far more difficult, and worthy of respect and compassion, then our society imagines. They are growing themselves, and in the process, showing us all, what’s possible. And lastly, and most marvelous of all, is that they are revealing the beauty and integrity of Life. Luckily, for us all, we are meeting there.

Elder Activism

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy." - Joseph Campbell

An idea came to me this week. It aroused me, with excitement, fear, determination, and wonder. So, I hope I can do an adequate job of exploring and expressing this idea.

My world is changing, as I’m getting older. Things are morphing into new forms. Configurations are occurring to me that I barely understand, and that call to me, to give them a voice. This is one of them, an embryonic awareness, which has come squalling over my horizon, calling for me to soothe it, by considering the change in my reality that it foretells. I am bewildered and beguiled, and I know that if I want to keep open, I’ve got to welcome this guest too.

So here goes.

I’ve been trying to pay attention to what happens to consciousness as we humans age. There are a lot of us now, outliving our ancestors, in greater numbers than ever before. Witnessing, and feeling, this, momentous build-up, has put me in a wondrous state of mind. I think mother-nature is up to something. I can’t shake the feeling that evolution is re-working the human race, putting more emphasis upon the grey fruit of this strange journey — than in the past. So, I’m paying attention, and noticing that old people aren’t all, what they used to be.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that some old folks, I call them elders, seem to see things a lot different than the rest of us. There are many ways this seems true to me, but I want to concentrate on only one now. I don’t know how, or when, this happens, but it seems that some older people develop, what I call, paradoxical awareness. They seem to be more comfortable, and even grow fluent in, bringing the opposites together. An indicator of the onset of this awareness, appears to be the statement, “The more I know, the more I know how little I know,” that comes out of some old folks mouths.

For whatever reason, they have arrived at an experience of the world, that is more complex, mysterious, and unified than many of us have. It isn’t unusual for someone in this state of mind to extol the beauty and miraculousness of the world, and to be equally aware of the horror that mankind has visited upon our planet. For them, the joy of being alive, is deeply rooted in awareness of the world as it is. They seem to exude an equanimity that defies logic.

I noticed this, and sometimes feel myself capable of it. I can feel the world turning, and I have a sense, that despite the deleterious impact of humankind, the miracle of life is here to stay. This thrills and humbles me; it makes me want to spread the vision. I don’t exactly know how to do that, and that’s OK, because I have the sense that evolution, that Life, is already at work changing things. I’m just here to witness and praise the miracle that includes injustice.

I can remember the dark days after my stroke, when I had an undiagnosed brain syndrome, which was slowly stealing my functionality. I was dying. I was angry — so disappointed with Life. The Mystery contained a darkness I didn’t want to know. I didn’t think I could care about a life that cared so little for me, and others who were equally diminished. My face took on, what seemed to be a permanent frown. The abyss ate me. I went down into the darkness, and came out of it barely alive, but aware, that my life had never been mine, and that now, I knew I was Life’s life, and that the darkness is only the light I most fear.

I believe elder activism is being transformed, not by we humans, but by Life. Ageing is bringing about, for some, a change in awareness. This changing awareness is leading to other changes. As I am getting older, I am becoming more aware of my own, and others, hubris. I am less inclined to judge. I am accepting more of my own limitations, and the limitations of others. The world has shown me, how Life moves in strange, unpredictable and inexorable ways.

Lately, I’ve found myself thinking. My activism has been largely based on my reaction to the injustice in the world. My actions followed. I assumed that injustice threatens Life. What I now see is that injustice is in the world as part of the wholeness that is Life. My actions must now incorporate that awareness. It feels right to keep acting, but without my former certainty, and with a more astutely humble reverence for the mysteriousness of Life. My actions will no longer be so much against others. Instead, I think I will be paying closer attention to Life, and dwelling in not knowing instead of certainty. It helps to think that Life is pre-eminent, and knows what it is doing.

Generally, I like ageing. Getting older has its well-documented problems. What it doesn’t have yet, is a well articulated description of its potentials. Along with the losses come gains. The gains aren’t obvious, they haven’t been fully described, but it seems Life is seeing to it, that they are available now, regardless of how well described they are. These same gains are changing the way activism, the love of Life, is being played out. In my view, this is evolution coming through us. It is the Universe doing its activist thing.